The only reason I am typing this journal is because I cannot bear to look my last despicable journal entry that I typed in the midst of a hormone-fueled, emotional rampage.

I think I can finally say that I'm satisfied with who I am. My EQ has increased nearly exponentially and I finally can identify my own identity, something that every teenager strives for. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I finally realize my priorities and where my passions lie.

Nevertheless, aside from my own chain of personal epiphanies, I have also come upon many realizations and new relationships with people in the time passed. Looking at my preceding journal, I am quite disgusted with what I typed. I stereotyped severely. I made an inane, illogical conclusion regarding emotions and teenagers. I really regret saying all that horrible stuff about stoicism, especially because I will never know the true effects of those statements. I used a myriad of unnecessary smileys. I singled out the emotional roller coaster of a single person, when it afflicts all teens. Although interestingly, of the three personality flaws I pointed out about myself, only the excessive attachment to friends has been rectified (not even by my power so much as someone else making me realize that all friends and people change). I have toned down the arrogance considerably, as to have it perceived as mere confidence, but that factor is something that I will always possess.

I feel that one of the most potent and powerful emotions one can have are while looking at the past. Intense anger and scorn at one's self, dark sadness and melancholy at forgotten dreams and chances untaken, etc. are all what I feel upon reflection. Although, a sad smile always comes to my lips whenever I think of some of the happier memories that used to occur on Fridays. It is a smile because those were some of the best days of my life. It is a sad one because the chance for more of those Friday memories is lost. However, through it all, despite all these petty emotions brought on by the teenage hormones raging through my body, it is time to focus on the future and forget the past. I will not and cannot spend the next 40 years of my life reflecting on the first 10 or so.

I'm satisfied with my life, even though I will strive to rectify certain parts, repair certain lost relationships, further chase my passions. This new maturity feels indescribable, although I do realize that my current self will the subject of ridicule by my future self in 1-2 years. All I can hope for is that that future self has fulfilled all the wishes and goals that I am thinking of now but cannot say. That's all I can ask for.